


Reinventing the wheel to run myself over

by rehceg



Series: Grenade Jumpers (leave this town in ruins) [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: 2008 south england au, B&Q, F/F, Fem!Donghyuck, Fem!Mark, First Kiss, Lesbians, Markhyuck are Lesbians in 2008 england, Mentioned Underaged Drinking/Drugs, Mentioned Underaged Sex, Mentions of alcohol, Mentions of drugs, My First AO3 Post, Petty Theft, alternative universe, for some reason, i dunno it's only mentioned, kinda they do kiss but i don't write it, they're 16 and that's legal in england ??, though not really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-18
Updated: 2019-02-18
Packaged: 2019-10-30 16:40:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17832260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rehceg/pseuds/rehceg
Summary: It’s not like the pair have no secrets between them, everyone has something they’ll take to their grave, Minyoung’s secret just happens to be the most painful and cliché she thinks could exist.Dongsook’s biggest secret is why she keeps stealing screwdrivers from B&Q.





	Reinventing the wheel to run myself over

**Author's Note:**

> lesbian markhyuck in 2008 england bet youve never thought of that huh  
> mark is minyoung and hyuck is dongsook  
> i don't know what tense this is written in either  
> short bc i gave up

Minyoung doesn’t remember first meeting Dongsook.

She remembers she was twelve – almost thirteen, and that Dongsook, only just turned twelve herself, joined her form group in school. She remembers she found it weird that a year seven had only just joined the school in the last month of the year, but she didn’t dwell on it too much.

Minyoung does remember that after two fast weeks of awkward conversation filling the first 20 minutes of their school day, Dongsook officially became her first friend at school.

 

By the time the summer holidays rolled around the two girls were near enough inseparable – both a little awkward around each other, but too lonely to not spend every possible moment in each other’s company. Minyoung had no other friends at that time, already to focused on her studies (despite being a literal twelve-year-old) and not quite confident in herself to start talking to her very British classmates in her very strong Canadian accent. Dongsook didn’t have anyone either – being the new kid who started too late, who was a little too tall and had too many bruises, a crooked nose, and frizzy hair. They were a perfect match.

Dongsook was the first person in that school (that wasn’t a teacher) that Minyoung paid any real mind to, and she strongly believes that was her best decision yet.

 

Although sometimes, she strongly believes it was her worst.

Now seventeen and in her first year of sixth form, Minyoung got her driving license. Her mother and father bought her a car for Christmas and even though it was a shitty, brown second-hand Chrysler PT Cruiser, it was her most prized possession.

Dongsook’s most prized possession was her Fall Out Boy’s _Take This to Your Grave_ album and refused to let Minyoung drive her anywhere if she couldn’t play it. This leads to quite the predicament in January, when she had to drive the two of them into school.

“ _No_ , Sookie, I really just can’t let you play it”

“Why the fuck not Canada? I know there’s a CD player in your shit-mobile – I was there with your parents when they bought –”

“ – you were there and let them buy this fucking _hell_ Dongsookie I swear I cannot stand you”

Dongsook let out a laugh at that. It was more of an ugly, boyish cackle than anything and Minyoung swears it was the most beautiful sound she’s ever heard

“Mate have you ever heard of being grateful?” she snorted “Minyoung, if you don’t let me play my album, you aren’t driving me nowhere”

 

It was already embarrassing to be seen driving her ugly car onto school grounds, but to drive it in while a sixteen-year-old girl scream-sings along to an album that came out five years ago – that was something else.

 

Their friendship never faltered significantly in the five years of knowing each other. Naturally, they had fought before, but nothing ever seemed to come between them. Minyoung was frightened that something would, though. Minyoung liked the girl.

No one else in the world could ever compare to the wonder that was Dongsook – those beautiful brown eyes, high cheekbones, crooked nose, chipped teeth and chapped lips. Those breath-taking scatterings of moles and freckles, those long muscular legs and shoulders too broad to be considered feminine, frizzy curly hair and honey skin. Boyish charm and a feminine voice that spat out curses in public but sang the softest of songs when they were alone. Her wild unstructured thoughts, her curiosity, and open-mindedness. The way Dongsook questioned everything she’s faced, the way she lives her life only to laugh at it, the way she was everything, everything, to Minyoung.

It felt like beauty wasn’t enough of a word to describe her.

Not that Minyoung would ever tell her that – _fuck_ no. Five years down the line was a little too late to fuck things up, if she told her, it would all go to shit.

There are two possible outcomes to confessing feelings: rejection or reciprocation.

Dongsook rejects: it’s not that Dongsook was still her only friend, but they only had mutual friends that she’d met via Dongsook. If she told her and was rejected, she’d be abandoned – they would never be friends the same way they were and wouldn’t hang out as often. All of their other friends preferred Dongsook and would rather hang out with her than Minyoung. This is a bad outcome, as it leaves her feeling pathetic, alone, and guilty for fucking up the best thing in her life.

Dongsook reciprocates: as idiotic as it sounds, her confession being accepted could, in fact, be the worst outcome. people get bored of each other. She knows this – Dongsook has told her this before – people in life never stick around. “relationships are temporary, ‘life-long partners’ hate each other, commitment is dead and true love never lived” Dongsook’s words – not hers. If they were to get together, it wouldn’t last, especially since they’re young. This would mean they’d break up and definitely not be able to remain, friends, the way they were before. This is a bad outcome, as it leaves her feeling pathetic, alone, and guilty for fucking up the best thing in her life.

It’s not like the pair have no secrets between them, everyone has something they’ll take to their grave, Minyoung’s just happens to be the most painful and cliché she thinks could exist.  
Dongsook’s biggest secret is why she keeps stealing screwdrivers from B&Q

 

“Hey, Minyoung, d’you ever think about trying ket?” Dongsook asks, awfully casually for someone walking out of onestop at 4pm on a Tuesday.

Minyoung startles and hurries the younger girl out of the door before answering, slightly shocked “Can’t say I have, Sook, what the fuck? _Ketamine_?”

Dongsook shrugs “Just wondering really. I’ve never done ket before – don’t like snorting stuff – but I think about it sometimes. I know a guy who sells it for like, a tenner, outside Asda. Y’know the guy. I think ten quid ‘s awful cheap for ket but I dunno, really,” she kicks at some stones on the pavement as the two of them walk down the road “gettin’ pretty bored of skunk and petty theft. Think I need to chase some bigger thrills”

“I think you’re fucking stupid.” Minyoung replies honestly “Stealing and marijuana are bad enough, Dongsook, and if anything you should try stopping that and not starting worse shit.” She stops in her stride to look at Dongsook meaningfully “Really, please think about it”

Dongsook avoids her eyes and shrugs again. She keeps walking “I wasn’t gonna actually try it. Jus’ wanted to see how’d you react to me saying I’ll do something dumb”

Minyoung breathes out in relief “For fucks sa–”

“Me ‘n’ Lucas shagged on Saturday”

With the same breath, Minyoung chokes.

Dongsook still doesn’t look at her.

“You… you what?” She manages to croak out, unsure if Dongsook is telling the truth.

Dongsook doesn’t clarify. She just keeps on walking. The two of them just keep walking, and Minyoung weighs out the pros and cons of breathing.

 

They don’t talk about what Dongsook said for two weeks. They don’t talk about Lucas for two weeks or the concept of having sex with anyone for two weeks. Let alone sex with Lucas, Dongsook having sex with Lucas, _Lucas and Dongsook_ , Dongsook and Lucas having sex

Minyoung needs to get out her head.

It’s not like it was a problem. Lucas is grown and can sleep with anyone he wants, same for Dongsook – they’re both sixteen, it’s legal in this country, and it was fine, fine

It was Lucas. Dongsook. Dongsook and Lucas – Minyoung _really_ needs to grow up – it’s none of her business. She shouldn’t be like this, she doesn’t own Dongsook, it’s wrong of her to act this way. It was wrong to dwell on it, she _knows_.

Didn’t stop her though.

The two are sat in Minyoung’s room, studying for their upcoming exams. Dongsook situated on the floor, leaning on the bed frame, and Minyoung, sprawled out over her bed. The very image of peacefulness – youthful halcyon. But, it was merely the calm before the storm, and Minyoung couldn’t get out of her head.

“So… are you and Lucas dating? or… something” fuck, _fuck_ , not only was she incapable of keeping her head quiet, keeping her mouth shut was suddenly out of the question.

“Um, what?” Dongsook laughs “why’d you think that?”

Minyoung flushes bright read “I… I er… it’s just – you said – you, um…”

“That I shagged him?” She supplies

“Yes! _Y_ _es_ , yes you did say that, you did, you did shag him…” the word ‘shag’ sounded weird in her accent, and her face somehow gets redder with embarrassment.

“Yeah, I said that. Me and Lucas had – sex but we’re not dating – or something” Dongsook said slowly, and turned around to face her, resting her chin on the mattress to look up and Minyoung. “you alright mate? lookin’ a little red there.”

“I’m good,” she said quietly, avoiding Dongsook’s face “peachy, even.”

With little grace, Dongsook pulls herself up onto the bed next to Minyoung and takes her hand gently, crowding her into the corner of the bed. Minyoung’s body goes haywire at the proximity – her heart and head racing like she’d just done a line and her hands and legs going numb, and her vision going a little hazy like she’d just smoked a spliff – maybe she _should_ think about trying ketamine, to calm her nerves at least and – “Minyoung, really, you good?”

She snaps out of her strange state, a little dizzy and heart still thumping fast like aftershocks, but otherwise normal “Yes, yes, I’m sorry” she answers, voice a little hoarse. She shakes her head to try and clear her thoughts, but it just makes her feel more out of it “Sorry I’m just – I don’t know, I’m sorta all over the place recently, must be the exams.” She gestures to the books spread out in front of her with a nervous laugh.

“Exams make you stress about my sex life?” Dongsook doesn’t buy it, eyes still searching her face imploringly

“I’m sorry, Dongsook, you just… you never spoke about… everything’s fine, right?”

“I didn’t fuck anything up if that’s what you’re worried about. it was a one-off thing, I dunno why I did it but like, I agreed. Lucas and I are still cool, we’re still friends, I don’t…” She trails off “Everything’s _fine_ ,” she says assuringly, squeezing Minyoung’s hands before cracking a small smile “can’t say the same thing about you, though, you look like you’ve taken something”

“If you’re fine I’m fine,” Minyoung says with finality, letting herself chuckle at the irony of the joke, and tries to ignore the fond look in Dongsook’s eyes that screams love, love, _love_ and leaves her heart aching for what she knows she won’t let herself have.

 

Dongsook is a troubled girl – that’s what everyone says. They say she’s bad news and a bad-influence, too busy with the wrong kind of people doing the wrong kind of things. She gets drunk of vodka she steals from chain off-licenses and knicks clothes from the high-street shops. She buys cheap weed from college kids and bunks off school too often to be ignored. She’s troubled, they say.

Minyoung never knows whether to agree or not. She likes to think she knows Dongsook well, but she never knows anything about Dongsook, not really.

 

This is why, when Minyoung goes to pick up Dongsook the next morning for school and she’s greeted by an eleven-year-old boy with shaggy hair and a blazer twice the length of his torso, she can’t let herself feel too surprised.

“Uh… your sister?” Minyoung calls out of the window at the child, voice sounding too shrill for the cold early morning.

“She’s not going in today, she said.” the boy tells her, walking up to the car before climbing into the backseat and pulling it close behind him. “She did say you’d gimme a left in, though”

Not able to think of a follow-up question, Minyoung simply nods and starts driving.

 

She was, however, able to think of at least 40 questions in the instant Dongsook’s brother left her car with a nod and quiet thanks.

Dongsook skipped school often, so this wasn’t out of the blue – but it was very unlike Dongsook to not tell her. The younger girl didn’t have a phone, which wasn’t unheard of, so she would always wait outside her house to tell Minyoung in person. Not doing this was very unheard of.

For the rest of the day, all she could think of was Dongsook. This wasn’t inherently abnormal – her infatuation with the girl left her thoughts plagued by honey skin and pretty lips – but this time, she was more worried than longing.

 

Minyoung, for all the years she’d known Dongsook, has never been inside her house.

She knows sometimes it’s not alright inside, and she’s let Dongsook stay in her room for a few days, holds her when she cries and doesn’t ask questions. The curtains outside are always closed, and she knows it’s only bad when there’s a green car parked on the grass outside.

When Minyoung arrives outside the house, there isn’t a car.

She walks up to the trellis at the front of the house and climbs up to the first-floor window she hopes is Dongsook’s bedroom. A quick look inside confirms her guess, and she pushes it open to climb inside.

“What the literal fuck, Canada? I tell you what – you’re fucking lucky I watched you climb in and know you’re not some murderer and all – cause I’m telling you, I wouldn’t hesitate to knock you out if I didn’t recognise you”

Face to face with the girl she loves ( _loves_ ) whom she’s done nothing but worry about for the past fourteen hours, Minyoung can only hazard a grin “Hi”

Dongsook scoffs “Hi to you too, tosser, what d’you climb my trellis for?”

“You skived"

“I _always_ skive, what gives?”

“You _always_ tell me” Minyoung feels breathless. Dongsook is stood in front of her, frizzy hair in old braids, legs barely covered by too-small basketball shorts, in a dirty branded hoodie that she probably stole, and beauty wishes it could be defined as Dongsook.

Dongsook doesn’t reply. She simply sits on her bed and waits for Minyoung to sit next to her. She still doesn’t reply, not really, she just talks about nothing and anything.

They sit there for hours, just talking, highs and arms pressed together, side-by-side and at that moment, Minyoung felt like the patron saint of lying.

“I want to tell you something,” Dongsook says, turning her whole body to face Minyoung properly on the bed.

Minyoung swallows down her spit and copies Dongsook, turning around to face her back. “I want to tell you something too” she doesn’t know where she’s going with this, but she wants and wants and wants something, and decides she should say it.

Dongsook looks at her in some way that she doesn’t recognise. She’s too nervous to dwell on it. As she opens her mouth to say her peace, Minyoung cuts her off

“I really want to kiss you, Sookie”

“Oh,” Dongsook’s eyes widen and Minyoung is seconds from tossing herself out of the window. “I was gonna talk to you about why I keep stealing from B&Q, but if you wanna snog I am more than down, fuck, your lips are lovely”

Minyoung just sits and stares at her for a good minute before responding “Huh?” she croaks out, always an eloquent girl of many words. “You – you want to kiss me?”

Dongsook smiles, that fond look on her face and for once, Minyoung thinks she might just let herself have what she wants.

Minyoung doesn’t wait for any real confirmation and puts her hand on Dongsook’s cheek and smiles back “Can I kiss you?”

“Yes please.”

 

Dongsook was the gentle breeze that tickled her cheek, the tea that warmed her stomach and cleared her mind, warm breath in the winter air, she was clarity in times of confusion, steadfast yet soft, overwhelming yet comforting, the crescent moon on a cloudy night. Minyoung lived and breathed Dongsook – Dongsook and everything she did, said, and was.

**Author's Note:**

> uhhhh i've never written any fanfiction before so this sucks  
> i dunno why markhyuck are lesbians i was jus feelin it i guess  
> i dunno why 2008 either???  
> wait did i mention the year  
> oof  
> i wrote this in an influenza-induced haze at 1am while listening to take this to your grave, so that album is mentioned a lot or referenced to al lot  
> like in the title thats a song from that albm  
> slaps btw listen to it  
> sorry for this i know its shittyy  
> low(high)key projecting stuff that happened to me on the characters, plot somewhat based on personal true events but their 2008 is my 2016 and its far less interesting (if im bold enough to call this interesting)  
> thanks for reading ta


End file.
